Who are you?

You can call me Samantha

A short question which leads to a long answer... The thing is with 'labels' is that sometimes there is not enough to go cover every type of person.

There are Transvestites/Crossdressers (think Eddie Izzard), Occasional dressers, people who dont want feel the need to go all out and look 100% convincing, they just enjoy feeling a little bit feminine by wearing womens clothes.

There are Transsexuals, There are not many examples that regular people would know about because most TS's live in stealth and dont want people to know they used to be male. Most TS's aim to be 100% convincing and usually also have surgery to transform their body.

I sit somewhere in between, i dress to be convincing, I blend in with the regular girls on the street, I've had a little cosmetic work to help me blend in but to be honest i won't ever have a sex-change. There are some things that are more important to me than this.

It is so much more than just the clothes, (probably not if you are a crossdresser) but to me it is more about the whole package. The makeup, the clothes, the mannerisms. It could be a form of escapism i guess but to be honest i just feel normal when im dressed.

I dont feel kinky, nor do i get all turned on. There are some girls within the spectrum that enjoy the fetishistic angle but thats not my thing either.

No.

It is a myth that just because you wear womens clothes you MUST fancy blokes, this is not true for most. Try to understand that Gender and Sexuality are two completely different things.

Gender is appearance related and Sexuality is your preference for a partner. I like to look like a girl and i only get attracted to girls. Hence why i have a girlfriend.

What a stupid question, Mac of course. Why would i want to be a PC unless i actually like to 'de-frag' my computer every other week!?

I live in a small-ish town called Eastwood, Its in Nottinghamshire (UK for my international website visitors)

Eastwood's is known for being the birthplace of famous writer D.H Lawrence. We also have a couple of pubs and a lot of fastfood takeaway shops!

Yes, I can often be found on the scene as well as more regular places.

I am an irregular-regular visitor at the Nottingham Chameleons nights, I also like to go to Pink Punters which is a scene club in Milton Keynes. Often found at The New Foresters bar in Nottingham, Less interesting are the various other pubs and clubs which are not on the LGBT scene. As is Tesco's, Morrisons, Co-op and the other shops which i buy my food and clothes from.

Im not one of those sit at home alone dessed kinda girls, i like to go out.

oooooh thats a good one, Hang on while i have a look... Wow, they are all John Mayer.

1st - Back to You, 2nd - Love Song for No One, 3rd - Neon.

Well i like to dress fashionably. I wear whatever is in season. I have a few designer pieces but mostly it is high st fashion. Just look at what the average girl is wearing and you may even spot little me.

I'm not really into the tweed twinset or tent-dress look lol

As in job? I work in the music industry. I make enough money to not be poor but not yet enough to afford a flat in mayfair!

It has to be a tie between Assassins Creed and Fallout.

One of my earliest memories was when i was about 5 years old. My infant school had a dressing up box and remember trying on a tutu. Back then it felt a little bit wrong, like what i was doing was naughty.

As i got older into my teenage years i managed to buy some of my own clothes. Unfortunately i often felt alone and ashamed that i was different. I was confused.

It wasnt until i got on the internet when i was 17 that i realised that there were more people like me and that i wasn't some sort of freak. Now i express myself however i feel and i don't feel ashamed or confused.

No, i am not.

There are some people that i know will react fine and people that i know would be really weirded out by the whole thing (this is my perception anyway).

One thing i am concious of is reality. I am aware that even in today's liberal times that being Trans is still very misunderstood. I would hate to lose work (and ultimately money!) just because i sometimes wear high heels.

Yes, i have a few. (no im not going to start reciting the rest of that Frank Sinatra song:)

I regret not having told certain people sooner. I dont believe it is a big deal that i dress, its like 'so what', i totally dont have any hangups about it. It is not a big deal. The thing is if i started telling people i would feel as though im 'unburdening' myself, but because its not a big deal i dont think it is a 'burden'.

Well dont blame yourself for not really noticing, Don't mistrust me now just because i managed to keep it from you for so long. Don't take it personally whoever you are. Me keeping it under the radar was my way of dealing with it. I was younger, Definitely unsure of how people would react and also not really knowing if it would end up causing me to lose work, lose friends and lose family.

All that matters now is that you do now know. You may have been told by a friend of a friend, by me or by the rest of the family. However you came to find out just remember one thing... Dont go calling me names behind my back, Any questions just ask me (they can be anonymous via my webform on this site if you wish). If you wanna go out just let me know.

And if you totally dont want to have anything to do with me then that is also ok i shall simply ignore you until the day one of us is dead. If you cannot or will not accept my choices in life then this is your problem, Not mine.